Looks like my blogging frequency isn’t really improving. Gotta get myself back into the swing of things.

Home practice on Monday and Tuesday, both were very average. I just realised that even though I can get my chest to the ground in upavishta konasana, my knees aren’t pointing to the ceiling, especially the left one.

That’s the thing about home practices for me, I’m less concentrated and I fiddle more to get into a pose. I wouldn’t have noticed my kness if I wasn’t fiddling. I also did a bind in marichyasana C, I’m not getting it back yet, it still pinches on the left side, but I managed half lotus and bind in ardha baddha padmottanasana. Backbends were good, started to walk my hands closer to my feet to get more of a bend happening.

I got to have a sort of yoga date with M on Monday. I didn’t practice with him, that would make 2 yoga practices in 4 hours and that would be crazy even for a yoga addict like me. Instead, I talked him through his routine while sitting on a fitball. I wouldn’t make a very good instructor, I get my lefts and rights mixed up and I can’t seem to talk fast enough or connect my brain to my mouth as smoothly as I’d like. I guess it takes practice for these things. Oh well, teaching is still years away for me, if I decide to teach that is!

M’s going to try to make practice a more regular thing and I’m trying to support him so whenever he wants to yoga, I’m going to make it a point to be there in case he wants to be led.

Didn’t do any yoga on Wednesday. Bad lady, I know. I went for a power walk with M instead. One hour and fifteen minutes later, I was sweating like a pig, my heart rate was through the roof, I had a blister on my left foot, my right hip flexors were overworked and I felt like crashing. Actually, I did crash. The same amount of time spent doing yoga doesn’t cause me to crash like this. It amazes me. I can’t believe walking can make my muscles so sore!

Today’s my last day at the shala for a while. I’ve decided to take some time off classes and just do home practices. The aim is to get into a morning routine. I’m still not sure if I’ll start taking morning mysore classes or give myself a break from classes all together. I have until September 4th to decide, that’s the next billing cycle.

Gotta get ready for class now. I’m going to miss everyone

Hmm.. I’m not usually this infrequent in my blogging. I guess I’m going through some big changes in my life so blogging has taken a back seat while I sort myself out.

My last practice was Thursday, an evening class. I was late again, but this time I was travelling to the shala via a car from home instead of just walking there after work. I allowed myself 25 minutes in case of traffic and I still got there late! If I drive to Mysore class on Saturday morning, it takes 10 minutes at most.

But anyway, that’s not the point. I didn’t get a chance to talk to C before class, so I made a point of letting her know what was going on with me after class. I also told her I may not be back to class next month because I wanted to do more home practices and also make my way to morning practices.

I would miss evening classes, more accurately, I would miss the evening class students and teachers! The up side is that I would have Gregor as a teacher in the morning classes. Morning classes are also strictly mysore-style, so no split classes.

Practice wise, half lotus sitting in ardha baddha padma paschimottanasana seems to be working for me now. No forward bending with the foot in lotus, that still hurts the hip, but getting the foot into lotus is pain-free. Little steps, little steps. I shouldn’t *really* be doing any lotus of any sort according to the doctor, but I feel as though this whole thing has made me a better listener to my own body, so I’ll continue to add what I think my body can do, all the while respecting what it can’t do yet.

Every other part of my practice seems to have plateaued. I’m desperately wanting a new poses but at the same time, I know it’s not wise to add a new pose while practicing with an injury.

And I’m not just talking about the lack of rainfall in Australia.

There’s been a lack of blogging… and a lack of yoga. I didn’t end up practicing since last Thursday until today, Tuesday. I wasn’t even going to go, I’m having a difficult moment in my life and I wasn’t feeling like yoga-ing. I’m glad I went though, as I always am, it was good to have some “me” time and just shut out the rest of the world for an hour or so.

I felt pretty stiff at first, at least until the end of sun salutations. No chest to thigh action in uttanasana until my very last sun salutation B. After that it was smooth sailing.

I took it relatively easy and all in all it was a decent practice. The back still feels weird, but not while practicing. It felt good while practicing actually, especially backbends. I love backbends. I want more backbends!

Went up again with straight legs in shirshasana, I think I’m getting the hang of it! I’m not sure if one of the teachers was behind me to stop me from rolling over, that’s because I didn’t roll over. I managed to get pretty straight too, I didn’t feel like I was in much of a pike. Held it for 20 breaths easy, or was it 25? Anyway, who cares, it was fun to be up-side-down.

I got an unexpected compliment today from another yogini. She came up to me after class as I was slowly rolling up my mat, and I mean slowly, I felt like stuck in some slow motion movie after shavasana today. Anyway, she came up to me and told me I had a beautiful backbend. I’m not the most graceful taking compliments, but I did manage some sheepish thank you and something about I love the opening feeling in backbends. I felt like a dope afterwards.

Didn’t get a chance to talk to C about my hip and back yet. I’ve got to get to class earlier and not half way through the opening chant.

Speaking of the problem area. I’ve started doing half lotus just in ardha baddha padma paschimottanasana. The right leg feels as good as ever, but the left really sucked. I couldn’t even get my freakin’ knee to the ground without pain, it was hovering about a handspan from the floor, but at least I could get the foot in position, that’s got to be something.

I broke my hair tie during chakrasana. I had my new short-ish hair do up in a high pony tail and I must have rolled over it weirdly, it snapped and I had to do everything after supta padangushtasana with my hair down, that was a mess. Back to square one with finding a way to keep my hair up and out of the way. I’m thinking pig tails…

I must be tipsy now because I’m writing dribble. Blogging is definitely more enjoyable with lychee liquer mixed with lemonade. Now I’m going to go pay for it with a rash and a headache.

I may be imagining things, but I think my lower back is still not happy with me. It doesn’t hurt, just feels funny. Maybe it’s from looking at Tiff doing her spine-less wonder thing that Julie captured with her camera.

I feel zonked today. I’m hoping to get in some ashtanga tommorow, gotta burn off that huge dinner I had last night. I want to encourage M to do more yoga too.

I got a semi-drastic hair cut for yesterday’s award thing. My hair was down to the middle of my back, I would guess maybe around the T9 or T10 area. I’ve cut it so it falls just over my shoulders. I also got a sweeping fringe. I don’t know what possessed me, the fringe looks nice, but is already annoying me.

Now I have to figure out how to put my hair up so it stays up during yoga and doesn’t annoy me.

I’m still a little worried about the back, it seems to have taken a step back. The hip, on the other hand, is still feeling quite good. I actually managed to get it into half lotus when standing without pain. Urgh, I’m having one of those days where I’m sick of feeling less than 100%.

Wow, practice was not what I expected. I thought I’d be heavy, inflexible and feeling I would puke because of the big lunch, but instead, it’s one of those great practices. Flexible, strong, controlled, light and focused.

Maybe it was because of the teachers there. Having two teachers means there’s less opportunities to slack off. Having one teacher who’s only seen you practice twice is another thing. I got a lot of attention from this teacher. I didn’t get a chance to tell him about my injuries and practice before class because I was super late. I arrived at the studio just as everyone started chanting. I waited outside until they were done, I remember how distracting it can be to have someone come in, even when they do it quietly.

So anyway, I got to tell this teacher in rather great detail about my problems so he knew when to adjust and when not to. I was so huffed when I was speaking. I’m not use to feeling huffed! I think it’s a sign I’m pushing too hard, maybe. Breathing feels fine during practice, but if I try to speak, I get out of breath. If I keep ujjayi pranayama-ing, then all is good.

Back to the “practice was good” bit. Everything that was good yesterday was good today. Upavishta konasana is feeling more and more secure. Chakrasanas are also feeling (and probably looking) more like chakrasana and less like some fool flopping over. Bhujapidasana was less controlled compared to yesterday, I actually fell out of it the first time I got into it, that was new.

The only bit that could be described as not-so-good was shirshasana. I did manage to go up with straight legs, and I held it for 20 breaths, but I knew I was wonky and as much as I tried, I couldn’t get my body straight without feeling off balance. Oh well, there’s always the next practice, which will be Sunday.

Won’t be practicing tomorrow (Friday) as I’ve got this award night thing to go to, unless I manage a morning practice. No practice Saturday as per tradition, so Sunday it is.

I ate too much for lunch. Tonight’s practice is going to be interesting. I don’t usually stuff myself like this, but M was starving so instead of our usual tasty south Indian take away lunch, we went to a restaurant to eat.

That wasn’t such a great idea for me. I feel sick right now, and sleepy… so sleepy…

I hope the food digests by the time practice comes around. I don’t want to throw up in class.

What I like about pubs right now is that there’s no smoking indoors anymore. Yay! It’s making me not hate pubs so much anymore. I like walking into a pub or bar and being able to breathe.

M hasn’t practiced yoga since he got sick about 3 weeks ago. He mentioned that he thinks it would be better for him to practice in the morning rather the evenings. I’m trying to encourage him to, but he still needs to be talked through his sequence, which means I may have to wake up early too. Perhaps it’ll be a good transition for me to go from evening practices to morning practices. We’ll see.

Ok, that’s a blatant lie. Well, maybe not blatant and maybe not a complete lie, depending on how you look at it. Truth is, I’ve been busy at TheBroth again, busy making yet another artwork inspired by yoga.

One week of tile dragging resulted in something that looks like kapotanasana. Not a bad effort I thought, there’s lots I don’t like as usual, but in the end I just wanted it to end. The inspiration for making kapotanasana came from a certain yogini who’s going through some pretty tough times at the moment. My heart just breaks every time I read about her struggle, so she’s been on my mind and in my heart lately.

You can tell I like backbendy stuff. I reckon they’re pretty to look at, even though some of the non-yogis around me just cringe and tell me they feel sick when they see some extreme backbends. Funny, I think I use to be like that, now I’m like, “wha..?”

I went to class for practiced today. All throughout practice I kept thinking about the hip and the back. I didn’t open up into urdhva mukha svanasana as much as usual, I was afraid of putting too much pressure on the lower back. I was really working the core muscles to protect the back as much as possible. The hip feels surprisingly good though and I can even sit in half lotus (left leg of course) with no pain. Even so, I didn’t want to push my luck in practice so I’m continuing to leave out the lotus and half lotus poses.

Bhujapidasana is feeling stronger with every practice. I feel like I have more control getting into and out of it. Upavishta konasana is now consistently a chest-to-ground affair. I feel as if my body is ready for a new pose, but this may not be a wise move for someone practicing with some pretty serious injuries. I’m reminded of Sweaty Brain’s t-shirt, “New pose please? … Just kidding”.

I went up with straight legs in shirshasana. I didn’t even need help to keep balanced. That was pretty cool. I don’t know how straight I was, but I felt pretty straight. Held shirshasana for 20 breaths, I could’ve pushed for 25, but that would go against my recently found “no-pushing” frame of mind. I wobbled a little, Tiff’s advice about using more bandhas really helped today.

Of the doctor’s appointment.

He was much more attentive today. The student wasn’t present, so he could focus full attention on me. We ran through the results of the x-rays and ultrasound. Here’s a copy of the examination notes by the doctor at the radiological clinic:

XRAY LUMBAR SPINE

Clinical Details: Back pain on the right at L4/5. Previous sciatica.

Findings: There are five lumbar type vertebrae. There are some Schmorl’s nodes present within the superior aspect of the upper lumbar vertebral bodies, consistent with prior intrabody disc herniation. There is mild narrowing of the L5/S1 intervertebral disc space. The remainder of the lumbar intervertebral discs are of normal height. The pars interarticulares are intact. The sacro-iliac joints are normal.

XRAY PELVIS AND BOTH HIPS

Clinical Details: Left anterior hip pain. ? Acetabular dysplasia.

Findings: The hip joint space is symmetrical and normal. No radiographic evidence of acetabular dysplasia, the centre edge angle being within normal limits bilaterally.

The sacro-iliac joints are normal.

ULTRASOUND OF THE LEFT HIPS

Findings: The psoas tendon is normal. There is no distended psoas bursa. There is mild asymmetry of the anterior acetabular labrum. The left anterior acetabular labrum is slightly larger than that on the right and there is some minor hypo-echoic echo texture at its base. The appearances are not diagnostic of an anterior acetabular labral tear, but certainly raise the possibility of an underlying labral tear. There is no paralabral cyst that would indicate definite ultrasound evidence of a labral tear.

No other potential abnormalitiy at the anterior aspect of the left hip.

And now the interpretation.

Firstly, the back problem. I have Schmorl’s nodes some where on the upper lumbar part of my spine. The doctor didn’t really go into this. It seems to indicate I’ve injured my back at some point in time. Not that I remember. I read on Google (yes yes, don’t Google medical stuff, it’ll just freak you out) that some people are born with these nodes, but the radiological clinic doctor seems to think it’s from a disc herniation. Whatever.

Back to the point. The space between L5 and S1, where the discs are that separate the bony bits of the spine, is narrowing. The sports doc said that these intervertebral discs have a gel-like substance in the middle that gives the discs volume, and it’s hard on the outside. Seems as though I’ve ruptured the that disc between L5 and S1 somehow, and the gel has leaked out, leaving the space between L5 and S1 about 60% of normal. I have my xrays and I’ll try to take a photograph somehow to illustrate this later.

The pain on the right lower back could be due to some disc bulge. It may have also been some disc bulge that caused the left lower leg problem at the beginning of this year.

So anyway, this narrowing of the intervertebral disc is permanent. All we can do is slow the progression. Bummer.

Now onto the left hip. I have no structural abnormalities. That’s a BIG relief. That means I don’t have acetabular dysplasia. There’s thickening of the labrum on the left side, but only “slightly”. The examination notes also says there *may* be a labral tear, but it can’t be confirmed through the ultrasound. The sports doc said I could have a MRI contrast to confirm the tear, but what would that achieve? Not much.

I could have a cortisone injection, that *may* help and then again, it may not. I could have surgery to smooth out the tear and that *may* help and then again, it may not. Nice options huh?

Regardless of whether I go for further treatment, the outcome is not great. I will never regain full function of my left hip either way. I can live very comfortable without any futher interventions or treatments if I were to give up yoga, not that the doctor, or the physio ever suggested that I should.

The sports doc said for now I can wait another two months and continue with the modified practice that I’ve been doing and we’ll see whether I get better or worse.

To him, my injury is “relatively new”. Apparently two months is nothing. Since I’ve been getting better, he thinks I’m in the phase of recovery and that’s why I should wait it out a bit more.

He told me he’s done some yoga before, I didn’t pry what sort and for how long. Some yoga is better than a sports doc that knows nothing about it. His tips to me were:

• to keep the core muscles active, especially in the forward bends
• keep the spine neutral in the forward bends
• keep my practice exactly the way it is for another two months, then I can try to go further and see if I get worse, if I do, I’m to go see him
• be mindful and in the present in my practice (but not in those words, but that’s what he meant)

I’m going to sit on this information and let my mind digest it. I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. I’m bummed and happy at the same time. I almost wanted to cry twice today since finding out. I’m still hoping it’s not a tear. Hoping, wishing and even praying a little.

There will be no yoga tonight, got that cocktail function to go to.

So I did a full practice, no cutting corners or nothing. I practiced at home and I’m quite good at justifying corner cutting like less vinyasas. Today there was no such thing, even though I felt low on energy, even though most jump-backs ended with a plop, plunk, clunk and even a splat once, I did every vinyasa, I didn’t rush through the asanas I don’t like, I did my complete practice.

Actually, I don’t think there is an asana I don’t like at the moment. I enjoy every single asana I have, that could be because I lost so many.

I couldn’t come up from bhujapidasana, but I did go down and touch my nose to the ground before putting my forehead down. I went up in shirshasana with straight legs and I felt pretty straight. I didn’t roll over and I held it for 25 breaths. I even tried to bind in marichyasana C, naughty I know, I shouldn’t really be doing it, but I just needed to know if I could still bind, and I can. It’s tougher than before, but it’s still happening.

Practice wasn’t very stunning overall, but it felt really good. I’m happy I practice. I feel good and gooey right now. I know I’m going to miss out on tomorrow’s class, maybe I’ll try to practice in the morning, if I can get my lazy ass up early enough.

So I’ve been plain lazy and not practiced for three days now. What’s that quote from Sharath? “Only lazy man cannot practice Ashtanga?” Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling.

In my defence, I had a headache most of the weekend then on Sunday I got struck down by a UTI. I’m sure you needed to know that last bit of detail. Ok, so that’s some pretty pathetic reasons why I didn’t practice. Oh well, can’t exactly go back in time and re-do the weekend. Moving on…

At least I’m going to practice tonight. I don’t know if it’s going to be a yoga date practice with M, but either way, I’m going to practice and I’m going to love it. I’ve been doing wall-less shirshasanas most the weekend and I haven’t rolled over yet. I haven’t been that straight either mind you.

Oh that reminds me, I did fun yoga on Sunday night while watching something or rather on TV, CSI I think. It was mostly some hamstrings stretches and lotus and half lotus testing to see where the pain is and isn’t. I also did some simple pranayama on Saturday. So maybe I did *kind of* practice yoga, but maybe not Ashtanga.

This week’s going to be a little hectic. I got a cocktail party to go to tomorrow, which means I miss my usual Tuesday class. I only found out about the cocktail party about 2 hours ago. I also have some awards night on Friday. It’s meant to be a “black tie” event, but I saw some photos of last year’s do and there weren’t many people in a tie at all! Phew, at least I don’t have to get the works-for-every-occassion ball gown from Mum and Dad’s.

But I will need to schedule in some time to get a manicure, some waxing done and that new hair cut I’ve been meaning to get for weeks now. Man, I hate being a girl some times and needing this sh*te done. What’s happened to me? I use to love getting my hair done and doing weekly manicures and hair removal. Now I’m just some hairy slob. Great. Lucky M.

So anyway, the whole point of even mentioning the party stuff is that I’ll have to move my usual Tuesday class to Wednesday and I may not have time for Thursday class depending on when I can make my darn beauty appointments. That possibly means I would go to Saturday class, providing I can get my lazy slob assed out of bed after Friday’s thing.