… yogic values of mindfulness and goalless practice – Anne Cushman, Yoga Journal January/February 1995

Now there’s a quote to keep in mind, especially in my time of injury. I think it was my goal-oriented practice that has resulted in my injury. I always just wanted to be more flexible, to work harder and harder just to get the next pose.

I must learn some patience and respect the limits of my body.

Words fail me with what happened recently. Last week my left leg started acting up, I got numb in the lower shin and muscle weakness in the foot. That worried me, muscle weakness of any sort would worry anyone!

I took a few days off to rest and my leg seemed to be getting better. I spoke to C about it and although we’re not sure what the exact problem is, I’ve eased my practice to give it a chance to heal. I’ve backed off all of the forward bends, standing and sitting, and I’m keeping the knees bent to get the bend from the hip to protect the lower back and prevent any compression of whatever going on back there.

So I had two very good practices that way, backing off the focus from hamstring flexibility and increasing the focus on strength training, bandhas and breath. Everything seemed good and I was planning to go see a sports doctor or physiotherapist the next week.

Then.. today’s practice.

I was coming out of janu shirsasana C on the left side and as I was *gently* releasing the foot when I felt something. It wasn’t a pop and it wasn’t a tear, but something wasn’t right, something was out of place. I couldn’t straighten the left leg or bend it up, I couldn’t lie down, I couldn’t move. I was in such agony and pain like I’ve never felt before.

I was feeling down too, I thought that if I had done something really bad I’d be out of action for months.

C was great and the other students in class were amazingly kind. C and L, the student next to me, helped me off my mat and to a chair, and V, another student, had homeopathic arnica pills on hand and without hesitation, gave some to me. Many others were offering help and giving well wishes. I really felt bad for making a such a fuss and I really felt amazement and blessed at the kindness shown to a virtual stranger.

In addition to the already amazing kindness shown, C offered to drive me and M, my boyfriend, home as we had took our bikes to work that day.

On the way to the car, when I was hobbling with my weight on C, I almost fell down (and took C with me) and then all of a sudden, my leg was back! Whatever it was that was out of place was back where it should be and I had movement! I was extremely weak mind you, but at least I could bend my leg and straighten it and put a little weight on it.

I iced and elevated the knee the whole night, but I still have to see a sports doctor or physio. There’s something underlying in my left leg that’s causing all these problems and I’d rather know about it so I can avoid doing this sort of thing again.

It’s been a busy week and a half so I’ll be covering a few unrelated topics.

I’ve been given full lotus in the 3 closing asanas before shavasana, yoga mudra, padmasana and utpluti. I don’t think it’s meant to be so comfortable for beginners, but for me, it’s really quite easy and pleasant to sit in full lotus. I’m not saying I could sit in full lotus for hours, but for a first try it was surprisingly agreeable.

I’ve also increased the number of practices I have in a week. I’m aiming for a three to four practice a week for the present time and will be working towards a daily practice in the evenings before I take the plunge into morning practice.

I’ve practiced in the mornings on occasions and it’s not been my favourite time of day to practice. I’m often groggy and very stiff, as if my mind is awake, but my body hasn’t caught up yet. My body’s much softer in the evenings and I’m sure that’s a reason why I prefer evening practice.

We had a focus on chaturanga dandasana in today’s class as well. C gave us reminders and tips on how chaturanga dandasana should feel, what to do and what not to do. In summary, don’t to overuse the trapezius muscle, a relatively small muscle, but instead focus on utilising the latissimus dorsi muscle while lowering down.

C said that if we engaged the right muscles in chaturanga dandasana, we should be feeling the lats tomorrow.